Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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