I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
