She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
