if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i think i have herpe
just one?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
