Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
