He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
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If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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