I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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