No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
