I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize