I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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