i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
pop tarts are not kleenex
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
