high people should be assigned attendants
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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