What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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