look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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