love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
