So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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