I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
