plz talk dirty to me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
