Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you're hired as official boob wrangler
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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