awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
