This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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