i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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