fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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