Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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