I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
