You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
