she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
