i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
