ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
