Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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