Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize