Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
