You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
