god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
