Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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