I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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