they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm too high and old for this...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize