Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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