How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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