I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
