Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
