this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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