you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
