If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
birth control should be required to get into college
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The uberlube is also flammable
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
