i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
