Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
