There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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