So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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