Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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