i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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