so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
