Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
