i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize