Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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