you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
