Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
this just has baby written all over it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
