This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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