I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
