so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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