i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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