I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
