It's Friday. Sex?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just had sex bonerless
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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