so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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