ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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