i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
